With little time to spare, Sledgemonkey got the two welding torches he'd scavenged from the machine shop running, the flame hitting the bottom of a thick plate of hammer steel would do for now, replacing the broken appliance he'd found when he entered the galley. Lubrication was a problem he grappled with and finally solved by referring to the reference manual for the project. "Butter? Hmm, think we used some in that hot rum drink we had the other night? Or was that last year? Would they have something that esoteric in the cold storage?" Mumbling to himself, he looked through the snack drawer of the beer cooler. He found a crock of butter, but it proved to be several decades old and hard as a rock. But someone had hidden a slab of bacon in the bottom. Everyone knows that if you find bacon in the wild, it's yours. Appropriating the slab, he carved it into thick slices with a sharp kitchen axe and used the self-lubricating properties of the bacon to grease his cooking surface. Stale bread was easy to find, as was a bottle of rum. Mixing the rum, eggs, and honey in a small barrel, he realized the manual called for milk. That was going to be too much trouble, so he used more rum. Scavengers never drank milk anyway. Getting the bread into the mixing barrel was easy, but getting it out was tricky. Next time, he'd make sure he had the proper tools for the job. If there was a next time. That depended on his current project, which he hadn't planned for at all and was winging it.
Ten minutes, and several mishaps later, he finally managed four acceptable rum-battered French toast slices, a pile of bacon, and two large flagons of hot rum with whipped egg whites. He turned to carefully walk to the captain's cabin, only to find Whale seated at the galley table, watching him with a smile on her face. "For me? Oh, you shouldn't have."
"I was going to surprise you."
"You did that last night. Double surprise to hear you fumbling around in the galley. I snuck in because I like to watch a man working in the kitchen. Makes me all tingly inside."
Not knowing what to say, he put breakfast in front of her and got his own plate that had a pile of his rejected slices and parts of slices.
They sat and ate in silence for a minute, and he refilled her empty rum mug. Finally, he spoke, "So?"
She nodded. "Yeah, thinking the same."
"Going to be talk among the crews and the brotherhood."
"Let them. I'm too old to hide that I'm young enough to chase a cute beard."
He blushed. "What now?"She reached for the center of the table and took one of the last two pieces of bacon, then slid the plate over to him. "We can play it coy, claim we're manipulating each other, and sneak around a lot, denying what anyone with one good eye can plainly see. Then see where the tides take us in the future."
Sledge took the bacon and shook his head, "Too old to sneak, and too blunt. And I hate mixing breakfast with politics; it makes things messy and dramatic. Let's sign a contract and be done with it."
That surprised Whale. Usually, you had to wine and dine an Engineer for years, polishing his ego, and slowly bend him to your will before they'd commit to a contract. No one had ever proposed to her before. "A contract? Well, it's worth talking about. You want a year to try things out?"
He looked her in the eye and winked. "I already tried things out, and I'm liking what I see. If you want short-term, I'll go ten years, but I'd rather go fifty or a hundred. We've got big plans that will take decades. Why get sidetracked every ten years with contracts and the politics that will pop up?"
"Damn. Ok, a hundred years? French toast twice a week?"
His eyes twinkled, "Only when we're too busy looting wrecks for proper breakfasts. Let's go with four days a week on the initial schedule."
"Oh my, I feel like a blushing beardling on her first voyage. A hundred it is." They retreated to her quarters to work on the contract.
An hour later, they were rudely interrupted by Narwal pounding on the door. "Sorry to wake you up, Captain-Mama-Whale-Sir, but we've got a problem. The spanner boys, including my own, are all in a tizzy, and it seems Sledgemonkey hasn't been seen since last night. If you happen to see him today, you might tell him to check his notifications at some point."
Her duty one, Narval, checked the galley for evidence and nodded her head. "Damn, she might actually settle down with this one." She took the opportunity to restock her ammunition, pilfered a half-dozen bottles of rum, and went to meet up with Boom-Boom. He'd been drafted by Two-Screws to handle part of the strange project that had them all in a tizzy.
Project # 30291-M
Status: Planning and Implementation
Lead Engineer: Senior Engineer Milo
Senior Engineer Milo is looking for volunteers for a special project.
Part A: Construction of a cable-driven elevator to descend 3250 feet into the crevice in the throneroom to ferry Engineers, tools, and materials to the Myconian Empire.
Part B: Negotiation of an agreement with the Collective that rules the Myconian Empire to establish a trade route to them, and the underlands beyond.
Part C: Building a Better Bear. A mechanical ally of Senior Engineer Milo was injured while valiantly battling Gartantua, a Monstrous Snail. Senior Engineer Milo proposes the formation of a task force to study the broken body of the mechanical bear and build her a much better body. Stronger, Faster, Better.
Innovative designs and experimental theories are welcome and may be incorporated into the final design.
Part 4: A discussion of the use of a combination of Cataclysmite, Electrical Discharges, and Compressed Plasma in an enclosed space to control the mutant snail population.
The author's content has been appropriated; report any instances of this story on Amazon.
Part 5: Theoretical uses for a binding and coating agent made from ground mutant snail shells, and the application to mechanical submersible watercraft.
"Wow, there is a lot of crazy in this project. He's got people wound up and ready to start building. And dammit! I need to figure out what the hell he's talking about in part 4."
Two-Screws grinned, "Almost like he was trying to bait a certain someone who likes to blow things up. Seems to me the lad has found a place with some interesting things, and he sees applications for some of it, and favorable trade conditions. That's a long drop, but we can handle it in stages. I don't like to go over five hundred feet of cable. Luckily, we have a huge supply of metal, and we were already feeding it into the cableworks to build up supplies for the lock and canal project."
"Well, as soon as we get the mechanical anchors set, I'm going to go down and meet with him. Give him a hand. He didn't have much cataclysmite on him, and that worries me. He might be up to his pointy ears in mutant snails and need a resupply."
The older dwarf laughed. "Sure, that even makes half sense to me. You and your wife can take your new weapons down and go snail hunting together."
"Hmm, was thinking of going alone. This sounds like there's some diplomacy involved and needs a subtle hand. And if there's one thing about a Scavenger, it's that they aren't subtle. So...shit, she's standing behind me, isn't she?"
Narwal slapped Boom-Boom across the back of his head. "Subtle enough to sneak up on your armor-plated butt. Don't you dare sneak off to blow things up without me."
"Yes, dear. My, what was I thinking? Must be the stress of not being able to find Sledgemonkey and being worried sick about him."
"Yeah, you should be worried. About the both of them."
Two-Screws was immediately interested. "Really? Anything you can accidentally let slip? Find them in a ditch with a rum barrel or some other situation I can use for ammunition?"
Narwal hesitated, "Uh, well, you didn't hear it from me, but it looked like a hurricane hit the galley in an attempt to make French toast with rum sauce."
"Oh shit!"
"Damn, that sneaky greybeard. Didn't know he had it in him. So we have all the drama and politics of a high-level romance? The betting pools are going to go crazy. Wonder how many years they'll draw it out."
Narwal was silent, and Boom-Boom put his arm around his wife. "Now, we promised we'd have no secrets. And Screws, here is the Chiefs' best friend. What's up? Give us a hint so we can make some shiny coins."
She beckoned them to lean in close and whispered. "I overheard Mama agree to a hundred-year contract."
Boom-Boom's jaw dropped. Two-Screws looked serious. "Well, that's unexpected. We'll have to keep this quiet."
"And start a few romance rumors."
"Just a small bet on a Century Contract."
"Something to keep us in beer and ammunition for a few decades..."
"I can drink a lot."
"And we do go through a lot of ammo. Maybe a slightly larger bet."
All three nodded, then split up to lay the groundwork for both the new Engineering project and to get the betting rolling on an unexpected romance.
Unknowing of how well his attempt to get things moving was going, Milo was dealing with a new situation. He'd seen the notifications before and had been aware of what might happen, but in the heat of the moment, he always forgot. Shadowblight had killed many things, including General Gangreen, and now Gargantua. It was a necromantic lifetaker that got more powerful as it killed. The weapon was humming happily whenever Milo touched it. He was happy with the extra damage, but the small hums and grumbles coming from the weapon were getting him some odd looks.
The Weaponspirit known as Shadowblight, Legendary Bonepick, has absorbed the life force of enough creatures to evolve.
Damage is increased to 250+5xDexterity. This nigh-invulnerable weapon can cut through the armor of Level 25 creatures with ease and has a chance to penetrate even the toughest of Eel scales. Creatures damaged by Shadowblight are weakened, doing 10% less damage for one minute. This effect stacks 5 times for a total of 50%.
Triggered Effects:
Poison: as a Noble Spider, seven times a day.
Sunder:as the Ancient Rune on a hit, drains 50 stamina.
The notification had come as he killed Gargantua, along with one congratulating him on his victory.
What an exciting battle! Who said Snail Battles were slow and boring? (Well, yes, everyone. But not anymore!)
For saving the Mulch Caverns from Gargantua, the Myconian Collective gives you their fondest thanks and offers to share learning with you.
Yes, a little ticked off that they can't use any of Gargantua to increase the size of their Warforms. Almost like you planned it that way. Don't worry, the System recognizes a victory when it sees one. For slaying a Monstrous Creature of unknown level, you have earned: 5000 Boss Experience and 50 Enhancement points.
And there's more! New Quest: Save the Bear!
Find a way to save Ursula and make her a new body. Reward: A happy bear and 10 Enhancement Points.