Chapter 968: Chapter 968: A Satisfying Piece of Good News?
Rogue Goddess, Bingdisi, what kind of existence does such an oddball have in the First Family?
It’s hard to say, just like many who hang out with our big family every day, no one can quite figure out how this Female hooligan comfortably and naturally became an almost permanent guest or even a half-owner of the house. My Big Sister and I are both particularly accommodating, and the family members who came in later basically revolve around the two of us, thoroughly implementing the philosophy of accepting all comers with open arms. As a result, the First Family has always expanded in an almost carefree manner, and its scope has become increasingly vague. To be fair, there are only a few who can be considered the mistress or family head in this house, counting little ones like Pandora. But in the minds of my Big Sister and me, as long as you live in this large house and spend every day playfully, you’re considered family—this includes the Ghost Maid who wails in the living room at midnight and the fox-dog that’s only recently moved in and is constantly mistaken for a doormat.
Bingdisi and her God Special Serve Five, in terms of identity, are special envoys dispatched by the Divine Realm to the Imperial Capital. Additionally, each is either a long-time friend of Sandora or a foolish subordinate of Dingdang. However, given how long they’ve been freeloading at home, I can’t help but feel like they’re family. Monina feels like a somewhat willful younger sister who loves to cook, Yelsen is a buddy with a lot of flashy bad habits, Kenser acts like an elderly mediator, and Lin is the timid youngest sister who often gets bullied by older siblings but is also cared for by everyone. As for Bingdisi, she could be considered the unrefined big sister or the best friend nearly akin to family—such is the peculiar status of the God Special Serve Five in our family.
Of course, this is just my personal feeling and not truly related to age. It’s pointless to discuss age with this group of undying Divine Race, any one of them who can walk upright is basically older than the first coelenterate on Earth, including Lin, whom I treat as the youngest sister…
As they’ve become family to me, I was initially caught off guard when Bingdisi suddenly said she was going to set out on an expedition. Once I processed it, I found it hard to accept—of course, I knew it should be a normal thing for her, but it just didn’t sit well with me. Around this time, I probably began to understand why the Mercury Lamp and Sayaka always acted up when I set out on my own expeditions. Considering the Divine Race’s sense of time, I truly don’t know how many years Bingdisi plans to be away… Even though my whole family has now entered the realm of immortality, I can’t guarantee I’d ever get used to a life where “be right back” means disappearing for several centuries.
“You know, the Divine Realm has always been dispatching expeditionary armies to different parts of the Void, with several Divine Race forming a combat team, each team leading hundreds of Senior Divine Servants, and several teams forming a Combat Sequence. We take turns embarking on expeditions, launching incessant attacks on the Abyss defense lines scattered across the entire Void,” Bingdisi said, “To be honest, if we really compare war history, your Empire’s history can’t even hold a candle to the God Race. The time we’ve spent clashing with the Abyss is almost forgotten even by Father God himself. According to the recently received expedition timetable, I’ve been enlisted in the expeditionary army to serve as the Supreme Commander of a Combat Sequence. It means leading a bunch of rookies to raid places, something I’m pretty at ease with. Honestly, this task is rather boring. Leading fresh recruits is hardly as thrilling as taking a group of rogue veterans to crash a place. But rules are rules, and High Order Gods are obligated to lead the lesser Divine Race in battle against the Abyss to train competent soldiers rapidly.”
I thought for a bit, not in high spirits: “Sometimes it feels like you all aren’t like Gods. Even though you hold the Authority to manage worlds, just look at what you do: building houses, collecting rent, handling customer complaints, and then picking up weapons to brawl with troublesome forces intruding into your neighborhoods. You talk about expeditions as if being a neighborhood cop would be less hectic.”
“There’s nothing to be done, we are Gods after all.”
Bingdisi spoke what might be the most philosophical words I’ve heard from her since we met, “Mortals, when stuck, always pray to their lord, so who on Earth would save God?”
I was momentarily struck by the brutal truth of religion slapping me into speechlessness. I thought to myself, with her several millions of years of life experience, she’s no joke. It’s my first time seeing someone squatting on a rock, biting a toothpick, and still managing to convey Nietzschean depth in complaining about work.
“Being a God is the toughest job in the Void, with no contest,” Bingdisi almost chewed through the toothpick in her mouth, “Because we have no higher idols to pray to or fantasize about. The first thing any God has to learn is: You’re the last mountain; when everything relies on you, the only thing you can do is not crumble. This sentence is written in every textbook of the Divine Realm, making sure we understand from the moment we learn to read that none of our missions can be shirked. So no matter how sloppy a God may be, they will never make a mistake within their domain of responsibility, even messy little Dingdang worked tirelessly due to an error in World Tree parameters, though you probably wouldn’t know.”
…I had no idea at all.
“God, Supreme Testament Rule One, never shirk responsibility,” Bingdisi suddenly stood up, facing the distant bonfire, her face alight with a strange brilliance. Her silver-white hair blew in the sea breeze, shimmering as one with the moonlight. At this moment, the rogueish woman finally stood holy as a Goddess, “After all, we have no leeway to shirk. We’re Gods, you know. That’s also why Gods see the Xyrin Apostles as the best friends, because you guys are the only ones who curse with God on your lips…”
“Did the Xyrin Apostles during the Old Empire Era curse as well?” I asked awkwardly.
“What do you think? They had tempers too.”
“So when are you leaving?” Watching Bingdisi, who looked majestic as the Moonlight Goddess under the night sky, a bit of melancholy creeped in as I asked. After all, this is my best friend. She’s saying she’s going to leave just like that, and it leaves me feeling unsettled.
“Soon, military orders take precedence,” Bingdisi lightly sighed, looking up at the moon, “In about two thousand years.”
…
At this moment, I was as dumbfounded as the giant boulders around me. In the biting sea wind, I began observing this Female hooligan masquerading as a Moonlight Goddess with three-quarters of my eyes white, pondering how I could beat her—let me tell you, if I wasn’t afraid of losing, I would’ve flipped out right then!
I shouldn’t have started a conversation with her about the scale of time from the beginning!
“Damn, I worried for nothing!” I grumbled. Bingdisi gave me a look of surprise: “Oh? You were worried about just that? Looks like I didn’t take you as my bro for nothing, such loyalty! But isn’t this something worth worrying about? Two thousand years! In just two thousand years, I’ll be on the front lines living the thrilling life of blowing people’s brains out. Don’t you think that’s a big deal for a fair maiden?”
“Your blinking takes quite a while,” I replied sharply, turning to head towards the largest bonfire to join my daughters. That side was already a chaotic mess. The most optimistic guess was that those Nagas had finally bounced themselves into a pile…
This bunch at home really seemed restless. While a family where 80% of members had excessive energy, six months without an outing was inconceivable—going to war doesn’t count. Especially Qianqian, who seems to have inherited the archaeological gene from her old man, loves to run around everywhere. Other than not digging up ancestral graves, she was extraordinarily lively. The bonfire party went on enthusiastically until after eleven at night, and eventually, she even eagerly set off fireworks…
The fireworks on Quel’Danas Island could definitely put any fireworks display on Earth to shame. This world has the clearest night sky, and this island has the most pleasant sea breeze. More importantly, we are surrounded by the most powerful Dalaran Mage and the most imaginative Supreme Commander.
When Qianqian released all the ordinary fireworks she brought from Earth into the sky, the mages and druids from Silver Moon City and Salvation Army Base got excited. A particularly innovative Troll Mage was the first to shoot a bursting fireball into the sky, and then others followed suit. All sorts of bizarre magic missiles started flying into the sky one after another. Once again, I saw these Salvation Army soldiers full of innovative spirit using magic in unexpected ways. Cluster-launched Arcane Missiles, bursting fireballs exploding into a large mass, lightning chains woven into patterns, and even a Fire Phoenix glowing with brilliant arcane light soaring through the sky, all turned the night sky of Quel’Danas into a Van Gogh-style abstract painting. Except for a few mages throwing Frost Arrows into the sky who got scolded, this fireworks festival could almost be considered perfect.
Of course, not everyone was satisfied with the fireworks, like Pandora and Visca. After several attempts to secretly set up anti-aircraft guns in the corner failed, these two little girls were ordered not to throw anything into the sky.
A simple seaside vacation turned into a grand event on Quel’Danas Island, all thanks to Qianqian, a spirited girl with special talent. It was like a carnival broke out without warning. Later, this surprisingly evolved into a festival that spread throughout the Azeroth world. Every autumn, in the second month, firework displays are held across Azeroth. Barbecues and bonfire parties are organized; esteemed mages perform magical sparks for the public for free, and every beach is lit with huge bonfires to burn through the night. All of this commemorates that day on Quel’Danas Island. The mysteries of life are fascinating; you can never predict why insignificant events sometimes evolve into traditions or even global cultures. The origin of the Dragon Boat Festival comes from a group of fishermen by the Miluo River. The firecrackers of Chinese New Year may have started with a mischievous kid throwing bamboo sticks into fire during a festival. He might have even burned his hand. December 25th is Christmas, meant to celebrate the birth of the holy child — so why doesn’t anyone celebrate Jesus’ full month on the 25th of January?
Simply put, festivals and cultures are just whimsical ideas from a group of people, amplified by the butterfly effect and polished by time into the collective passion of many. Later on, the residents of the Azeroth world even researched the origin of this festival. The Blood Elves insisted that since the first autumn fireworks were set off on Quel’Danas Island, the festival should undoubtedly be attributed to them. The Trolls believed credit should go to the Troll Mage who first threw the bursting fireball that night, while the Goblins presented old account books to show their significant economic contribution that evening. Eventually, the naming rights of the festival fell to Qianqian, who decided with a flourish to designate that day as the Azeroth Mid-Autumn Festival…
It’s nearly a cultural disaster since those from Azeroth never fully figured out the correct Mid-Autumn Festival date between Earth and Azeroth. In their traditional customs, the moon is like a hook on the 15th day of the eighth month…
Of course, all that is a story for another time.
On the second day of our family vacation, I, as usual, lay on the beach sunbathing with Yelsen and Kenser, like three dilapidated, retired cadres. Yelsen didn’t request to be buried in a sand pit by someone today, probably recalling how last time he was buried for twelve hours using curses and Quicksand Technique by his sister. Yet, he was still wearing that golden armor, likely grafted onto his skin. Bathed in sunlight, he shimmered like the noon sun. Kenser, dissatisfied with uneven tanning, tactically positioned himself next to Yelsen. I couldn’t fathom how someone who resembled Zeus would do something so absurd.
As for me, I kept away from these ancient buffoons, hiding under the shade of a beach parasol, caring for the Ghost Maid lounging limp on a sun lounger.
The grand finale of last night’s fireworks festival was Anwina’s contribution — she got shot down.
“Master, shouldn’t Anwina, as your maid, be taking care of you instead…”
The little maid weakly murmured from the sun lounger, her face full of dejection. Qianqian’s antics escalated wildly, turning Quel’Danas Island into a carnival. This made the naturally shy Ghost Maid even more afraid to approach the ground, yet she dared not leave the island; thus, she ended up circling in the sky as a crow. However…we unexpectedly set off fireworks, which was a catastrophic moment. I still clearly remember Yakumo Lan, shaking sand from her tail, being bombarded into a sand pit by a massive crow descending from the sky. Fortunately, Little Ghost was a Spiritual Body and wasn’t hurt physically, only suffering some serious mental trauma. Yakumo Lan, though, was worse off—
Looking back, the nine-tailed fox girl was lying nearby sunbathing, with a sizeable pink band-aid on her head, her neck crooked to the left, shakily wagging her tails. Her neck was still skewed from being hit by Anwina the previous night; wagging her tails was to shake off the sand. This fox didn’t seem to like the beach much, likely due to the wind-blown fine sand slipping beneath her fur, as unsettling as a mosquito bite to the sole for any upright-walking canine.
“Master, did Anwina trouble you again?” The Ghost Maid cautiously asked after my prolonged silence. I tapped her forehead: “Resting properly would ease my worries. This trip is meant for relaxation; you handle all the housework back home, so you deserve a break. Next time, we should find a quieter vacation spot for you. It seems you truly can’t rest properly in this setting.”
Anwina cheerfully agreed and continued lying on the sun lounger, counting her hair. I mischievously sneaked over to Yakumo Lan, intent on giving her ear a rub. This fox had a timid nature; if you surprise her ears, her tail hairs fluff up amusingly.
“Please refrain from such ungracious acts, Chen Jun. A fox’s senses are exceptionally sharp,” Lan’s fox ears twitched slightly and then she lifted a tail to lightly slap my leg, “Moreover, I’ve honed my skill of recognizing your approach by footsteps alone. Please avoid such jokes in the future. If you’d like to touch my ears, you can simply ask…”
I pondered aloud: “Did you develop this skill from frequently dodging cheeky pats?”
Fox girl’s ears perked up immediately, and then her nine tails began flailing like a whirlwind, slashing at my shins, kicking up dust: has this girl gotten daring too?
I was immediately filled with rage and my courage soared as I seized an opportunity and grabbed her tail. Then this whole tailed girl turned into a whirlwind, brushed my leg with her nine tails, causing dust to fly all around: Who knew she could be so cheeky?
Presently, a space ripple flashed, and Miss appeared before me. With a swift kick, she scolded, “Don’t do such an ungentlemanly thing, Chen Jun. Harassing a fox!”
In an instant, Yakumo Lan’s fox ears perked right up, and all nine tails spun like windmills, hitting my shin repeatedly, sending clouds of dust flying: Is this girl really so bold?
That’s when my anger surged; seizing an opening, I grabbed her tail just as the young master appeared before me with a space flicker and kicked me: “Ah, you’re actually harassing a fox here!”
Lan’s ears sprang up instantly, then all nine tails began to strike against me like a pinwheel, sending sand flying everywhere: Has this guy also become so bold?
Of course, all that was an afterthought.
On the second day of the family vacation, I lay as usual on the beach with Yelsen and Kenser, two retirees basking in the sun like neglected government officers. Yelsen didn’t ask to be buried in the sandpit today, after he was kept buried for over twelve hours by his sister’s curse and Quicksand Technique last time. Yet he was still decked out in that battle-worn golden armor, possibly grown onto his body by now. In the sunlight, he glistened like the sun itself at high noon. Kenser struggled to find an angle beside Yelsen to get an even tan on his body, while I wondered how someone with his facial features could be so ridiculous.
Meanwhile, I relaxed in the cool shade under the sun umbrella, looking after the limp Ghost Maid lying on a deck chair.