Chapter 239: Chapter 239: The Last Time I Was This Excited Was When I Bought a Coffin!
The tavern was bustling with guests, and as soon as Cui Rong dismounted from the carriage, she pointed at the street vendor selling candied haws and asked Cui Yun to buy some for her.
Shen Hua didn’t feel like moving and thus stood waiting by the carriage, protected by Marquis Qing at her side.
While feeling utterly bored, Shen Hua looked at the crowd when she heard the following.
"Madam, would you like to buy some honey?"
A merchant with bottles of various sizes hanging from him approached. As he moved, the bottles clanked against each other, producing a most pleasant sound.
"What’s contained here is all top-quality wild honey, which can cool the heat, nourish the body, detoxify and soothe the throat, and it can even cure all sorts of illnesses!"
Shen Hua shook her head.
The merchant did not retreat despite her lack of interest, and he even began to continuously praise his honey.
"This honey is especially sweet."
"Even a couple with a loveless marriage would feel deeply affectionate after a sip, as if stuck together with glue!"
Shen Hua slightly widened her eyes.
Do you even know what you’re saying?
Or are you treating me like a fool?
The girl was apparently taken aback by this claim.
The persuasive merchant then dramatized even more, saying, "If Madam has a favored young man, just let him have a taste. Once he knows of your goodness, he’ll definitely come to propose the next day!"
Shen Hua blinked, quietly listening to his spiel.
Merchant: "This product is not expensive, only 999 cents. Madam, buy one bottle to settle your mind, two bottles for a smooth life, and three bottles for a perfectly contented heart!"
"Don’t be skeptical, Madam, the people who wish to buy this are not few! But if fate does not bring us together, even if they offer ten thousand taels of gold, I would not sell!"
The girl laughed.
"Go on."
"Does this honey have any other effects?"
"Of course, it does!"
"Last time, an elderly lady of eighty who bought honey from me hobbled on a cane, but who would’ve thought, after having just one bottle, she moved as swiftly as the wind!"
Shen Hua couldn’t help but exclaim, "Wow!"
The merchant was then energized.
"And there was a woman who had been trying to conceive for many years with no luck, after eating the honey, she was diagnosed with a joyous pulse!"
Shen Hua: "How magical!"
Merchant puffing up his chest: "Before eating the honey, Madam must make a sincere wish, then bow three times towards the east, with a determined mind wishing for success."
Shen Hua: "Understood."
Merchant lifting up a bottle, bringing it close to his face: "For children, eat it! For marriage, eat it! For wealth and honors, also eat it!"
Shen Hua nodded emphatically, and just as the merchant thought she was about to pay, the girl cleverly asked: "Then why do you have so much honey but remain only a merchant?"
The merchant’s smile faltered.
Seeing him at a loss for words, Shen Hua kindly asked, "Is it to deliver all sentient beings from suffering?"
Merchant: "Yes!!! Times are hard for everyone, I naturally cannot let others lose hope due to my selfishness!"
"Since we are destined, I’ll round it down for Madam, 990 cents! How about that?"
He clearly could resort to highway robbery, yet he insisted on gifting a bottle of honey.
Truly a conscientious merchant!
Shen Hua whispered gently: "I won’t buy."
Merchant: ???
You don’t buy and yet you ask!
Listening so attentively!
Isn’t he tired of speaking so much!
Shen Hua waved her hand: "No need to thank me."
The girl earnestly said: "I was just letting you indulge in your chatter."
The merchant walked away mumbling curses.
Indeed, there were many hawkers making pitches. Soon, Shen Hua was approached by another one.
"This lady, would you like to buy a shroud?"
This merchant came up enthusiastically.
"It is a family heritage craft of mine, the shrouds we make preserve the body without rotting for ten days."
Marquis Qing frowned, thinking it tolerable for the false honey seller as the young lady was just looking for novelty. But a shroud was an ominous thing. He was about to send the man away, but unexpectedly, Shen Hua’s eyes lit up.
"Is what you’re saying true?"
"I would not deceive Madam! When someone dies, the longer the time, the heavier the odor. However, one must also depart with dignity."
Shen Hua found this to be very reasonable.
She nodded seriously and firmly.
It is said that under the Emperor’s feet, in Shengjing, money is everywhere, and merchants come here to make their fortune. Yet he had been peddling all day, not striking a single deal and instead getting cursed to a bloody pulp.
When promoting to others.
——Our longevity clothes are excellent!
——Fuck off with your grandpa! Get lost!
——Soaked in ancestral medicinal herbs, they ensure the body doesn’t decay for days. Would the young man like to keep one for himself?
——Cursing me? Are you sick? I’m perfectly fine. Why the hell would I buy that?
When promoting to Shen Hua.
——That longevity clothing...
——Stop there, I’ll buy it.
——Huh?
——Name your price!
Merchant: ???!!!
He was so excited that he didn’t know what to do.
"Madam has great filial piety, which elder are you buying this for?"
Shen Hua was also very excited.
"For myself!"
The girl’s complexion was pale but radiant; she looked frail, yet with makeup, her lips were red, cheek rosey, skin icy and bones jade-like, no signs of ailment could be seen.
The merchant was a shrewd one, immediately showering her with praises.
"You have great insight!"
What’s wrong with buying longevity clothes? Just like when one is sick, one cannot shun the doctor, having it ready for emergencies, you never know when it might be needed.
Shen Hua, biting her lip, asked: "Since it is soaked in medicinal herbs, won’t the clothing retain a scent?"
"Not at all!"
Merchant, patting his chest: "If madam passes, have your family take out the longevity clothes early. Whether to smoke it with osmanthus fragrance or plum scent, it’s all fine."
Ji Qing: ??? What are you saying!!!
How can someone speak so unpleasantly!
"Looking at the madam’s dress, you must be someone who attends to fine details. In life one strives for detail, and in death too, must it not be the same?"
But these words struck a chord with Shen Hua.
Her eyes glistened, under the merchant’s glib tongue, she was utterly captivated.
Last time she was this excited was when buying a coffin!
"May I have a look at it first?"
"Certainly, if madam is earnest. Trying it on is also no problem!"
"I have red ones, green ones, white ones, all sorts at home! The longevity clothes on the market are uniformly dull and stale, absolutely not fresh. We only die once; there’s no room for regret."
Shen Hua thinks she must introduce this man to her coffin-making master!!!
Shen Hua was thoroughly interested.
"You said the clothing is soaked in ancestral secret medicine, given that, can I decide on the fabric and style myself?"
"Of course, madam. Whether it’s silk or brocade, it’s all good. Madam will need to provide them though, and I can make the style according to the design, it will just take time, about the price..."
Shen Hua: "Don’t talk to me about money! Do I look like someone who can’t afford it?"
Ji Qing couldn’t listen any longer.
He hurriedly advised: "Madam, I think..."
Shen Hua: "Hush."
The streets were bustling with noise. Cui Yun led Cui Rong over, and with his good hearing, he listened intently to their conversation from three zhang away.
The man pursed his lips tightly.
Cui Rong cried out in pain: "Uncle, that hurts."
Cui Yun immediately loosened his grip. He walked over with Cui Rong and handed Shen Hua a candied hawthorn stick.
"What are you discussing?"
Cui Yun scrutinized her, asking word by word: "What do you want to buy?"
The merchant was incredibly enthusiastic: "Is this the madam’s young man, huh! And the child is already this big? They say girls take after their fathers; it seems to be true."
"Madam, why not order two more pieces?"
The merchant earnestly said: "Perhaps, to leave this world in a complete and tidy fashion!"