Maxwell's gaze was watery, unsure as he stared into Andrew's eyes. He reached out, adjusting Andrew's glasses, making sure that the other man could see him clearly. His smile was a little watery, a little hesitant when he gave it to Andrew.
"What are you saying?" He asked softly, and Andrew swallowed. He reached up, pulling his shirt up and over his head, exposing his throat and neck. He angled his head, staring at Maxwell as the man gulped. He stared at Andrew's neck and throat, his eyes moist, and Andrew felt his lips tug up.
"I'm saying, use your teeth to mark me permanently. If it doesn't take the first time, do it over and over again. Hell, I'd even be willing to get a tattoo, Max. Just for you. Just to prove to you that I'm all yours." Andrew told him and Maxwell grew even more emotional.
He reached up, covering his face with his hands and Andrew tossed the shirt to the side, reaching for him. He pulled him closer, Maxwell letting out a soft noise as Andrew's cock shifted inside of him.
"Stop being so fucking accommodating. It's frustrating that you're just…okay with that." Maxwell complained and Andrew wasn't sure what to say to that. Maxwell sniffed. "I didn't think relationships were supposed to be this fucking easy." Maxwell's complaint washed over Andrew and he let out a snort.
"Easy? We broke up before, remember?" Andrew told him and Andrew winced as Maxwell smacked his chest.
"Don't bring that up ever again. I hate even thinking about it." Maxwell warned, and the tremble in his voice is what made Andrew really shut up. Maxwell was already crying in his lap, he didn't want him actually sobbing.
"Okay. I won't bring it up. I'm just saying that we have had our problems. We just…talk them out now. Like we are right now. It's also…not something hard for me to do. You already know what the problem is, I already know what the problem is, and the solution is just…" Andrew hesitated, before he let out a deep, heavy sigh. "It's probably therapy, and I'm honest enough to admit that I'm opposed to it. I don't want to poke inside of my head. I know that there are things I don't want to open up." Andrew muttered.
Maxwell remained quiet for a long, long moment.
"Even for me?" It was so quiet that Andrew almost missed it. He would have kicked himself for life if he had.
"Oh Angel." Andrew murmured, pulling the man even tighter against him. Andrew shifted his legs, bringing him up higher, shifting back so that his own back was arched and Maxwell was more on his chest.
"Sorry. I know I just said-" Maxwell apologised immediately, his face flushed and twisted. He was not okay, and Andrew pressed a gentle kiss against his skin. Over and over as tears slipped down his face. Silent. Heart breaking.
"You've been so understanding with me." Andrew said finally. A hard knot in his throat. "You've let me do what I want, figure myself out. You haven't really asked me for anything." Andrew spoke softly. Maxwell opened his mouth, ready to protest but Andrew just kissed his nose, silencing the man. "You haven't really." Andrew told him. "Not compared to what you've done for me."
Maxwell pouted.
"I was doing that so that you would feel indebted to me. I wanted you to feel like you couldn't escape. I wasn't doing it from the goodness of my heart." Maxwell protested and Andrew felt his lips turn up.
"I would like to argue that, but I won't right now." Andrew told him, the smile fading from his lips as he thought about what Maxwell was asking of him. What he wanted. It sucked that the two things that Maxwell wanted from him were so normal, so…average. But they were big fucking things to Andrew because…
Because of one fucking man. And how that man had ruined everything he touched.
Andrew closed his eyes, sighing heavily as he laid his head back against the car's headrest.
"How can one man have such a destructive force?" Andrew muttered. "How did I not realise he was taking over parts of myself?" Andrew didn't know who he was asking, just that he was pissed about the whole thing.
"Parents have a way of doing that." Maxwell said softly. "I didn't want to get married because of my parents. You changed my mind." Andrew winced at hearing his words. How carefully, softly he was saying them. He hated hearing Maxwell, his Maxwell, being so careful.
He was Maxwell fucking Beckett. He shouldn't have to tiptoe around his partner.
What the fuck was Andrew doing? He was so worried, so caught up in his own fucking head that he was continuing to hurt the man who he loved more than anyone that came before him. The only reason he didn't love him more than his Mom was because it was a different kind of love. They weren't competing for the same slots in Andrew's heart.
"I won't let myself take it off the table." Andrew said, his tone harsh. Andrew could feel Maxwell flinch in his arms.
"What?" Maxwell asked, and Andrew let out a sharp breath.
"I am not going to let him take away my future, and I'm not going to sit back and let the man I love cry because of who he is. Not when he's the one who told me that I have to accept all that I am. Not when he taught me to accept all that I am." Andrew said, raising his gaze to meet the shocked expression of Maxwell. His mouth was opened slightly, and his eyes were wide and watery.
Andrew hated how his cock jerked at the sight. Maxwell's shocked expression shifted slightly to one of amusement since he felt it, before Andrew continued. Ignoring it.
"It's not a right now thing," Andrew started, "but I'm not going to be cruel and say it's a never thing. I just…I need to get stronger. I know that if we had been under any other circumstances, we probably would have done something similar as your parents. But I can't do that, but I'm not going to let you wither away." Andrew gulped, his eyes growing wet with emotion. "I would be no better than him if I did that to you. I am not him. I am a better man, a better partner, and a better lover." Andrew declared and watched as Maxwell melted.
He bent, pressing his lips against Andrew's, his breath shaky.
"Baby, you're also going to be a better father than him too." Maxwell promised and Andrew exhaled sharply, feeling his whole body shudder at Maxwell's gentle words. Andrew nodded, his jaw tight as he let himself sit with those words.
He would be a better father. He would be the best father. It would be an insult to Ford if he said anything else besides that.
"I am." It sounded rough, harsh. The words felt pulled from him, but Andrew meant them. For the first time, even as his guts swirled with complicated, icky feelings, he meant his words. Maxwell kissed him with a smile, and Andrew drank it up.
Somehow, Andrew found, through their kisses, that Maxwell had pushed him back until Andrew was lying down below him, and Maxwell was above. It was a classic Maxwell position, and Andrew smiled up at the man as Maxwell stared down at him. They were still connected, and the condom had one more use.
Maxwell reached behind him, grabbing the syringe that Andrew had filled with cum. Maxwell grabbed the lube and placed it in Andrew's chest, pushing his hair out of his face as he sat back on Andrew's cock, smiling softly.
"Fill up the syringe, Baby. I'm going to make good on your promise. I want you to fill me up, make it feel like you're putting a baby in me while I sink my teeth into your throat." Maxwell opened his mouth, tapping his incisors. "They're a little smaller, but I think they'll get the job done." Andrew felt his face warm.
"Right now?" Andrew asked, saliva filling his mouth as his throat throbbed suddenly. Just the thought was getting him worked up.
"What a great Christmas gift to you, hmm? You get marked. You better not save that for my Christmas gift next year." Maxwell was teasing him, but it was also a warning. Andrew gulped. He had less than a year to get this sorted. Honestly, he probably had until Maxwell's birthday.
Which was…
"Max, when's your birthday?" Andrew asked as he flicked open the lube container. He glanced up at the man waiting patiently for more cum, and watched as Maxwell's lips curled up in a smile.
"February 14th." Maxwell told him smugly, and Andrew felt his hands freeze.
He had two months.
Andrew had two months to get his shit together. He could tell from the way that Maxwell smirked that he knew it too, but behind that cockiness was a very real vulnerability that Andrew needed to keep in mind. Needed to nurture. Because if he didn't figure his shit out on Maxwell's birthday, he knew that there might be some damage that might never heal.
Not after Andrew had promised that he would get better, do better, for him and for Maxwell.
"So…no proposing on February 14th. Got it." Andrew muttered and the smile that touched Maxwell's lips pleased Andrew.
"You could." Maxwell said coyly. "But wouldn't it be better if I proposed on my birthday?" Maxwell offered and Andrew huffed.
"No. That's not okay. You're supposed to get gifts on your birthday. Not give out gifts." Andrew protested and Maxwell smiled.
"Fine then. No proposing on my birthday." Andrew didn't trust that tone, and from Maxwell's smile he knew that Andrew didn't. He was going to have to make sure that the delivery date for the ring was on time.
It would surprise Maxwell immensely if they got engaged a whole month before his birthday, wouldn't it?
Andrew finished his duty, topping up the syringe, and he watched as Maxwell stared at the amount he had put in. He seemed…disappointed. Andrew laughed.
"Angel, that's a lot of cum. I promise. An average man is maybe half of that." Andrew told him and Maxwell made a thoughtful sound in his throat.
"I've never measured, so I wouldn't know." He told him, and Andrew chuckled.
"Do you want to test it next time? We can check each other." Andrew said, and watched as Maxwell didn't immediately say no or yes. He was seriously considering it.
"Hmm. Maybe. Are you ready?" Maxwell asked, turning away from the topic and staring at Andrew's neck. Andrew gulped.
"I think I'm as ready as I could be." Andrew told him and Maxwell grinned. He bent, pressing a kiss against Andrew's throat. "Keep that spot open for me. I want to make it pretty."