Chapter 160: Fractures of the Heart
Varen
I watched her, still trembling from the aftermath, her dress clutched tightly to her chest. The air between us was thick, heavy with something that felt like accusation. I didn’t even know what I had done wrong, but the way Josie was looking at me made my chest burn.
"Are you serious right now?" I asked, my voice sharp, trying to mask the sudden ache clawing through me. "You just get up and walk off like that?"
She blinked, startled, and shook her head. "Varen, I thought I saw something—"
"Yeah? Or maybe you saw Thorne, and that’s why you suddenly decided the bed wasn’t good enough for you anymore?" The words came out before I could stop them, dripping with venom I didn’t even mean to spill.
Her eyes widened, her lips parting in disbelief. "What the hell is that supposed to mean?"
I laughed bitterly, even though it tasted like blood in my mouth. "It means I’m a fool. A damn fool to think that maybe—just maybe—you could love me a little. That you could look at me the way you look at him."
Her brows furrowed, pain flickering across her face. "Varen, stop twisting things. You’re—"
"No, you stop!" I snapped, stepping closer. "You think I don’t notice the way you flinch every time I touch you like I’m doing something wrong? The way you freeze when I say something too close to your heart? You act like I’m the enemy, Josie. I’m not Thorne, and I’m not Kiel. I’m me, and all I’ve ever done is try to protect you."
She caught my wrist when I tried to turn away. "You’re doing it again," she said softly, her voice cracking. "You’re hurting me like your brother. You say all these things—cruel things—and you don’t even realize what you’re doing. You’re fighting me for no reason, Varen."
Her hand was small against mine, trembling. For a second, I wanted to hold on. I wanted to tell her that she didn’t understand—that I wasn’t trying to hurt her, that I was just terrified. But my pride... it wouldn’t let me.
"You never see your own damn faults," I spat, jerking my hand away. "You think you’re always right, that everyone around you is wrong. You’re just so—" I stopped myself, teeth gritted. "—so damn annoying sometimes."
Her eyes glistened. "You don’t mean that."
"I mean every word." My voice was low now, dangerous, even to my own ears. I could feel my heartbeat hammering against my ribs. I dragged a hand through my hair, the frustration twisting deeper and deeper until I could barely breathe. "You know what? You know where to find me when you’ve stopped going crazy over my brothers. When you actually see me."
I took a step back, staring at her tear-streaked face. The sight nearly broke me, but I forced a smile that felt like a knife. "And for the record, if what you want is someone to make you cum a billion times in one sitting, I can do that too. I’m good at that, right?"
Her breath hitched, tears falling faster now, but I turned before I could take it back. My chest felt like it was splitting open as I stormed out of the room.
The corridor was silent except for the echo of my footsteps and the sound of my own ragged breathing. I didn’t stop until I nearly collided with someone.
Thorne.
He stood there, tall and collected, as if the world owed him something. His sharp eyes narrowed at me immediately. "Where’s Josie?"
The way he said her name made me want to punch something. "Why? Planning to make her cry again?" I muttered.
"Watch your mouth," Thorne snapped, his tone clipped. "You’ve been walking around like an unhinged wolf all day. Don’t take your issues out on her."
"My issues?" I laughed coldly. "Don’t act like you’re any better, Thorne. You hurt her worse than anyone."
Thorne’s eyes darkened. "You think being an Alpha means nothing comes back to you? You’ve got the worst character in this entire pack, Varen. You pretend to be this noble savior, but you’re nothing more than a man who hides behind arrogance."
His words hit a nerve, but I forced myself to smile. "At least I don’t pretend. You’re right—I’m not noble. I’m selfish, I’m broken, and I don’t care who knows it." I stepped closer, my voice dropping to a growl. "And since you’re so high and mighty, maybe you should also know that I’ve fucked Josie too."
His expression froze. For a moment, the silence was deafening.
"Yeah," I continued, the words heavy and sharp, "and guess what? I’m not as useless as you, brother. You hurt your mate right after sleeping with her. I didn’t."
The flicker of shock and rage in his eyes gave me a twisted sense of satisfaction. I brushed past him, refusing to look back. My chest burned like fire, but I kept walking.
By the time I reached the outer courtyard, the night air hit me like a slap. My Beta, Ruby, spotted me immediately. Her arms were crossed, expression unimpressed.
"You look like hell," she said.
"Thanks," I muttered. "Exactly what I needed to hear."
She tilted her head. "Thorne sent word. You were supposed to oversee the guard shift changes."
"Yeah, I’ll get to it," I said flatly.
Ruby sighed and fell into step beside me. "You know, for someone who’s usually good at pretending not to care, you’re doing a terrible job right now."
I frowned. "I’m fine."
"Liar."
I glared at her, but she didn’t flinch. Ruby never did.
"Sit," she said, nodding toward the bench by the watchtower. I didn’t want to, but I did anyway. She handed me a flask, and I took a long gulp, letting the alcohol burn through the chaos inside me.
Ruby leaned against the railing, watching the moonlight spill across the trees. "You know, I’ve been where you are," she said after a moment. "In love with someone who barely looked at me the same way. His name was Williams. The idiot didn’t even realize how I felt until it was too late."
I rubbed a hand across my face. "What’s your point?"
"My point," she said firmly, "is that you need to stop acting like Josie doesn’t care about you. She comes to you when she’s hurting, Varen. She doesn’t do that with anyone else. That has to mean something."
I scoffed. "Yeah, it means I’m her emotional punching bag. She uses me, Ruby. That’s all this is."
Ruby’s tone hardened. "You’re such a fool sometimes. She doesn’t use you. She trusts you. She’s confused, hurt, and probably scared out of her mind, but she still runs to you. That’s not use, that’s dependence. You’re too damn emotional to see it."
"Emotional?" I barked out a laugh. "That’s rich coming from you."
She rolled her eyes. "Oh, please. You think with your heart more than your head. You take everything she does personally. You know what? You’re good at handling everything in this pack—but when it comes to one woman, you completely lose it."
I clenched my fists. "You didn’t see what happened. She literally stood up and walked away from me in the middle of—"
"In the middle of what?" Ruby asked dryly. "Cuddling?"
I hesitated.
She smirked, shaking her head. "Did you even ask her why she did that?"
"No."
"Of course not," she muttered. "You were too angry, too wrapped up in your ego to ask the simplest question."
I stared at her for a long time, her words sinking deeper than I wanted to admit. My throat felt dry. "You think I messed up."
"I don’t think," Ruby said, "I know. And if you don’t fix it soon, you’re going to regret it."
Silence stretched between us, filled only by the faint rustling of the wind. Slowly, I nodded, my chest tight with realization. Ruby was right.
Without another word, I stood up and started back toward the main building.
The guards were stationed outside Josie’s room, straight-backed and alert. "Anyone been here?" I asked.
One of them nodded. "Kiel showed up earlier, Alpha, but he didn’t stay long."
My stomach dropped. "What?"
The guard straightened nervously. "He just looked around and left."
"Damn it," I muttered, running a hand through my hair. I turned toward the door, ready to storm inside, but one of the guards stepped forward.
"Sir," he said cautiously, "Alpha Thorne is inside with her. He ordered that no one else should go in."
My entire body went cold. Thorne. With Josie. Alone.
"Move," I growled.
"Sir—"
I didn’t let him finish. I shoved the door open, fury consuming every inch of me.
Thorne was standing too close to Josie, his hand slightly raised, his expression unreadable. Instinct roared inside me. Without thinking, I lunged, grabbing Thorne by the shoulder and slamming him backward.
Josie screamed.
And that was where everything stopped.