Chapter 91: Reverse Psychology Works.
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◈ The One Who Tricked Death
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◈ Rank: Divine
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◈ Description: To die and yet live is an act that mocks eternity itself. By wit, will or sheer defiance, you have slipped through the grasp of the Goddess of Underworld and stolen back your life. But Death does not forget. The air chills at your passing and unseen eyes follow, waiting for the day your debt comes due.
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◈ Effects:
✦ Cannot be targeted by instant-death effects, curses or prophecy-based executions.
✦ Undead and spirits instinctively sense you as one of their own. They hesitate before hostility, lowering their aggression unless provoked.
✦ Misfortune trails in your wake as death follows your trail.
✦Your soul becomes strong.
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As my eyes scanned over the next Myth, only one word came to mind.
"Fuck."
Why the hell does this world insist on being so damn complicated?
A Divine-rank Myth and this was it?
These pitiful little scraps of effects?
For all the grand fanfare, it felt like getting a legendary loot chest... only to open it and find these rotten apples and a rusty spoon.
I mean, sure, Noah did mention that most Myths were basically duds. They were just shiny titles and badges of honor from the Heavenly Principles recognising what you had done.
The "effects" were just side products, incidental perks from the feat itself.
Like with Dragon Slayer, dragons didn’t fear the title, they feared the one who had already killed something stronger than themselves.
The title was just the wrapper.
When you killed a dragon, a fragment of its soul left an imprint on you and that imprint carried both fear and strength.
Logical, neat and almost scientific.
And yet... fuck that.
Why couldn’t it be some delicious brainrot where I instantly gained a busted cheat skill? Something like "Press button to insta-kill enemies" or, bare minimum, "Congratulations, you can now resurrect from death once or twice."
I knew the rank wasn’t supposed to measure usefulness. It measured how suicidal you had to be to earn it in the first place.
But still, does it really have to be this pathetic?
Can’t a man even dream of getting a proper cheat-death ability from a Myth literally called The One Who Tricked Death?
Tsk.
This one was worse than Dragon Slayer.
At least Dragon Slayer only bought me the eternal hatred of dragons.
But this fucking Myth? It gave me hatred from fate itself.
I mean, seriously, what else am I supposed to take from that ominous little line: "Death will follow you"?
That’s not poetic, that’s a death flag.
It was like one of those movies where the idiots who cheated death start dropping like flies, getting picked off one by one in the most brutal and ridiculous ways possible.
And guess who just signed up for the starring role?
Fantastic.
...Just fucking fantastic.
I knew Fate herself probably had nothing to do with it, but what can I say? My undying affection for her made sure she was always the one I blamed anyway.
So, naturally, I followed my calling.
Fuck you, Fate.
Still... it wasn’t completely useless.
At the very least, it saved me from some voodoo bullshit.
And it definitely made my soul sturdier and stronger somehow.
Not that I had any idea what good that would do me yet but hey, better than nothing.
And it’s not like Death’s clingy obsession with me was anything new.
She had been hovering around since forever, always watching and waiting for a chance to be with me.
Classic tsundere behavior.
She never admitted it, of course. Always pretending it was just coincidence by acting cold and aloof.
But now? Now this Myth was basically her bold confession.
"Fine. You got me. I’m in love with you. So let me show my affection by trying to brutally murder you at every opportunity."
Romantic, really.
Toxic as hell... but romantic.
And I knew the exact way to handle such a toxic, overbearing and romantic tsundere.
Simple.
Ignore her feelings, flip her off and keep living just to spite her.
In any case, the second Myth was a disappointment, which didn’t exactly leave me brimming with hope for the next one.
After all, it was the plainest of the lot.
A title of a scammer.
I still couldn’t wrap my head around it. How could the heavens possibly slap such a vile, slanderous title on a man as pure, as benevolent and as humble as me?
All I did was strike a perfectly fair trade with Hel.
We had proper negotiations, balanced terms, mutual consent and everything by the book.
And yet... the system branded me with the title of scammer.
Tsk.
Truly, divine injustice at its finest.
With a long, suffering sigh, I opened the details of my second Divine-rank Myth.
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◈ The One Who Scammed Hel
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◈ Rank: Divine
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◈ Description: You did the unthinkable by bargaining with the Queen of the Helheim and walking away as the winner. Through silvered tongue and shameless deceit, you tricked the Mistress of the Underworld herself.
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◈ Effects:
✦ Gain immunity to curses, pacts and soul-binding contracts, for you’ve already cheated the greatest one.
✦ You can twist written or spoken oaths, bending their meaning slightly in your favor.
✦ Your words carry a faint echo of truth, lies from your tongue sound almost holy.
✦ ☒ Resentment Of Goddess Hel ☒ [This effect has been sealed by Divine Authority.]
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As my eyes ran over the details of this Myth, only two words managed to form in my head.
Holy shit...
Jackpot.
Honestly, this was the last place I expected to strike gold.
I mean, after seeing a Myth with a grand, dramatic title like The One Who Tricked Death turn out to be a glorified dud, I had written this one off completely.
And yet, here it was...
This title had no flaw.
Well, almost because technically, it had a flaw.
But that flaw was being smothered under divine authority... probably because the Trickster had neatly erased my details from Hel’s memory.
And really, if she didn’t even know who I was, how exactly was she supposed to resent me?
The effects were just as perfect for me to carry out my perfectly legal negotiations in the future. A much better fit than that slanderous title trying to brand me as a scammer.
The first effect alone made me grin: immunity from soul contracts. Which meant I didn’t have to keep relying on the fake counterfeits I had cooked up back when I was scammin—ahem, I mean, conducting my respectable business dealings with my ex-fiance.
The second effect also made perfect sense.
I mean, bending oaths in my favor? That sounded like the ultimate counterattack against those no-lifing scammers constantly trying to scam me.
Naturally, of course, it wasn’t just for petty payback.
Oh no.
It had completely justified, noble applications as well which I would, obviously, dedicate to the greater wellbeing of the world.
Finally, the third effect was... well, almost useless.
I mean, my words were already holy enough if you just listened carefully.
Why would I ever need some cheap amplifier on that holiness?
All in all, this title was by far the most perfect out of the three I had checked so far.
I mean... aside from that horribly defaming name it came with.
Seriously, scammer? Couldn’t the Heavenly Principles at least go with something classy, like "Master of Negotiations"?
Still, who really cares as long as the effects are good?
After all, I had already seen how a title with the peakest and most dramatic name could turn out to be nothing but a shiny dud.
With the rest checked off, my attention finally shifted to the last one.
My final Myth.
The one that stood above all the others.
The one with the highest rank.
The Holder of the Card of Arcana.
Now that was a mythic-sounding name. And yeah, I had a mountain of expectations riding on it.
But this time, I wasn’t going to show it.
"Tsk... must be another trash," I muttered on purpose.
Reverse psychology.
Because if there was one thing I had learned, it was that the world loved nothing more than stomping on my hopes the second I admitted I had any.
So fine. No expectations. None at all.
Let’s see if the universe falls for the bait.
I knew I was acting childish.
But hey, childishness was clearly the secret behind my unparalleled charm and charisma.
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◈ Holder of the Card Of Arcana
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◈ Rank: Eternal
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◈ Description: The Card of Arcana is not a relic. It is the concepts that rule over the path of ????. Whether by fate, theft, or madness, you have become a vessel for divinity far beyond mortal comprehension...
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◈ Effects:
✦ Right to use Card Of Arcana.
✦ Resistance against ???? Corruption.
✦ Seed of Divinity.
✦ Complete Immunity Against Mental Intrusion and Mind Erosion.
✦ You may never use any other weapon.
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"What the fuck?"
The words slipped out before I could stop them, the only thing my brain managed as my eyes locked on the details of my final Myth.
"...Maybe reverse psychology really does work against the universe."