Rhodes pressed one hand to his chest, the other pointing dramatically toward the sky as he gazed up at Mirajane with fiery determination.
"I swear by the moon that hangs in the night sky, I will give you all my love! For my love for you, like the moon itself, shall never fade!"
Mirajane cupped her hands over her heart, her lashes lowering as if in bashful contemplation. Slowly, she lifted her eyes to Rhodes, her voice soft yet unwavering as she stretched her hand out through the window.
"No… do not swear by the moon, for it is ever-changing. If your love for me is true, then speak it sincerely, and please, take me away!"
Their gazes locked as they recited the sugary lines of the script.
Mira seemed to be genuinely enjoying herself, while Rhodes could barely keep a straight face. He silently wondered what kind of novels and dramas Lucy and Levy had been reading to come up with something this flowery. The dialogue dripped with romantic embellishment fit for a master dramatist, yet for him, it was almost unbearable.
Still, because every declaration was for Mira, he endured. If it had been anyone else, he never would have agreed to memorize such sentimental speeches.
The two "great screenwriters" themselves were flushed with pride, deeply moved by their own creation. They even loosened their grip on Erza, too caught up in watching their work performed.
It hardly mattered. The usually iron-willed knight had already been struck silent by all the sweet words. Erza's mind was a whirlwind, her brain effectively short-circuited.
Wendy hid her face in embarrassment, utterly overwhelmed. Juvia, meanwhile, was lost in fantasy, imagining Gray saying such words to her...her cheeks burning red, her happiness threatening to burst from her chest.
Lisanna quietly clasped her hands beneath her chin, her heart swelling. She had missed her sister's confession and proposal before, but watching this made up for it in her own way.
Elfman, however, stood stiff-armed, unimpressed. "Tch. Let's hurry this up. We should be fighting monsters already!"
Evergreen had begun to indulge in a daydream of her own, but one glance at a certain someone quickly soured her mood. Imagining such a scene was impossible.
Gildarts yawned loudly, uninterested in saccharine romance. Yet when his eyes fell on Kana in her dress, he suddenly brightened… only for worry to hit him just as quickly. What if some man one day tricked his daughter the way he once had others?
A chill crept down Loke's spine. He subtly pulled his two new admirers, girls he had only met that very morning, farther behind him, making sure none of the Blue Pegasus men noticed.
Kana, meanwhile, was blissfully unfazed. Even dressed properly, her free-spirited nature didn't change. She poured herself another drink and muttered to Lucy and Levy, "Only young girls who've never been in love would write such corny lines."
The two guilty parties instantly denied it, their pale faces betraying the truth as they jabbed fingers toward the audience, insisting it was touching.
And, to be fair, some in the crowd truly were moved. More sentimental souls dabbed quietly at their eyes, touched by the romance.
"Rhodes~!"
"Mirajane~!"
Their final impassioned cries rang out, and at that moment, the ground shook.
Behind Mira's small home, a monstrous shadow rose. A massive purple spider climbed into view, its limbs spreading wide enough to embrace the entire building. Its sheer size looked capable of swallowing the bridesmaids in one gulp.
Yet despite its terrifying appearance, its movements were oddly careful, its long legs placed gently, as if it were afraid of accidentally crushing the house.
This was none other than the "King of Beasts" for today's performance, Vilemaw.
Its rasping hiss echoed like the grinding of stone, carrying a foul gust of wind that whipped at the bridesmaids' dresses and hair, stirring the yard below. The monsters lurking in the shadows stirred to life, their roars joining in the act.
The monsters roared skyward before pouncing toward the Poro King beneath the groomsmen's feet.
Happy and Carla both threw their paws to their cheeks in mock alarm, crying out together, "If the 'wedding carriage' is destroyed, the bride won't be carried away!"
At once, the band shifted its tune to something fierce and dramatic. To the rousing rhythm, the groomsmen leapt down one by one, facing their assigned foes with exaggerated bravado.
Elfman roared and transformed into the Beast King, locking arms with the Void Sentinel in a contest of raw strength.
Laxus's muscles swelled until his shirt tore apart, lightning crackling wildly across his body as he squared off against the towering Void Brambleback.
Freed, reluctantly dragged into the act, grimaced as he dueled a Wraith, still distracted by how magnificently Laxus's muscles gleamed under the arcs of lightning.
Gray, for perhaps the hundredth time today, tossed aside his shirt, conjured an ice blade, and began dueling a small golem with icy precision.
The rest of the groomsmen flared their magic in colorful displays, casting spells that dazzled without doing much actual damage, perfectly fitting for the parade atmosphere.
But Natsu and Gajeel… those two hotheads couldn't resist turning a staged fight into a real brawl. They mocked each other between blows, crushing their opponents with frightening speed.
From the rooftop, Lucy clutched her head. "Natsu, you idiot! That Shadow Wolf was supposed to be Gray's fight!"
Levy stomped her foot. "And Gajeel stole Bickslow's monster!"
"Wait, wasn't that wraith assigned to the Exceed team?!" The two groaned in unison, helpless to fix the chaos.
Rhodes initially waved it off. As long as it looked impressive, who cared about the script? But when Natsu and Gajeel started going all out, pounding enemies as if this were a real battlefield, he realized someone had to restore balance.
So Rhodes stepped forward, sword flashing.
With a single swing, golden light flared, lancing across the courtyard so brightly it seemed to pierce the clouded sky. A golem dissolved into sparkles.
He thrust again; a torrent of flame burst forth, waves of heat melting even the last snow drifting in the air. A wraith vanished in the inferno.
Raising his blade high, Rhodes chanted a "mighty incantation," stirring winds and thunder above. Lightning and fire rained down, wiping out two or three Shadow Wolves at once.
His moves were deliberately flashy, his poses grand, the special effects dazzling. The crowd erupted in cheers, swept up in the spectacle.
From her "prison" window, Mira dropped her act, her eyes sparkling as she leaned eagerly forward. "So handsome! That pose too...ah, that one's even better!"
Lucy and Levy exchanged nervous glances, but when they saw how much the audience loved it, they finally exhaled in relief.
At last, after a long and glorious struggle, the groomsmen cleared the yard and regrouped with Rhodes. Together they soared toward the rooftop where the massive purple spider, Vilemaw, loomed over the house.
They unleashed a barrage of brilliant attacks, filling the air with fire, lightning, ice, and steel. Yet when the light faded, the spider stood unscathed. With a chilling hiss, it lashed back.
Lucy and Levy clutched one another, whispering in unison, "Finally, back on script."
Gray staggered back from the counterattack, knocked dramatically across the rooftop.
"Gray-sama!"
Juvia's anguished cry pierced the air. She had been lost in a fantasy, watching Gray valiantly strike down monsters for her sake. But now, to see him cast aside… her heart blazed.
"You hateful monster! How dare you harm Gray-sama!" Juvia launched herself forward, magic swelling as she hurled herself straight at the spider.
The bridesmaids, startled, hurried to stop her, but in the scramble, they forgot about another guest who had also lost herself in the performance.
Erza, sword raised, face stiff with uncharacteristic awkwardness, bellowed in a trembling, overly dramatic voice of her own making:
"D-de-destroying the wedding monster… unforgivable! I—I must… defeat the bride!"
Her eyes widened, and she hastily corrected herself with even more volume:
"No! Not defeat you...become the bride!!!"