Chapter 111: Two Weeks Break [XI]
He froze mid-step at her shout.
The wind howled between them.
The waves roared louder, almost as if the sea itself wanted to drown her words. But it was too late as they had already reached him.
Lyra’s chest puffed out as she stood there, her fists clenched at her sides, tears already burning in the corners of her golden eyes.
"Why are you doing this?!" she shouted again, her voice shaking. "Why are you avoiding me like I did something wrong?!"
Gray didn’t turn around.
The silence that followed only made her shake harder.
"I waited for you," she whispered softly.
"Every single day, Gray. I waited at the cafeteria, the training grounds, the beach... I even stayed up all night in front of the inn, hoping you’d show up. And you never did."
Her tears spilled freely now, tracing down her cheeks as the salty wind blew her hair across her face.
"What did I do wrong? Tell me!" she screamed again. "If you didn’t mean it, if you were lying that night, then say it to my face! Say it, Gray!"
At her words, Gray felt a faint pain in his heart, causing him to grasp his chest.
[Gray...]
Hearing Jasmine’s voice made him calm down a little.
But still, he didn’t move.
Plop... splash!~
The only sound between them was the waves crashing against the rocks below.
Lyra took a few steps forward, trembling all over.
"You think I didn’t notice?" she whispered through her tears. "You think I didn’t see the way you looked at me, how you tried to hide it every time I smiled? I’m not stupid, Gray. I saw it."
Gray’s hand twitched.
His breath caught in his throat, but he forced it down.
"Then why?" she continued. "Why did you tell me you liked me if you were just going to disappear afterward?!"
Finally, Gray couldn’t stay silent anymore and spoke in an unusual soft tone.
"...Because I shouldn’t have."
Lyra froze.
He turned slightly now, just enough for her to see part of his face.
His expression was unreadable, yet his eyes, those dark, bottomless eyes, carried both confusion and guilt inside them.
"I said something I shouldn’t have. And I realized it too late."
"That’s not an answer!" she cried, her voice breaking as tears streamed down her face."You don’t get to run away after saying something like that!"
Her knees wobbled, but she forced herself to stand tall, even as tears kept falling.
"You think you’re protecting me by staying away, don’t you? You think leaving me in the dark makes this easier?!"
Gray flinched at her words.
’How could she know what I was thinking...?’
[Gray, she’s not that dumb. Just consider how you interact with other girls and how those interactions differ from Lyra’s...]
’Ahh...’
Gray immediately understood what she meant.
With the other girls, Gray always had the same vibe, not really being caring, and even being extremely blunt with them.
For example, with Selveria, he directly said to her face that she wanted her body.
But with Lyra... never once did he do that.
Of course, he teased her a lot, but never did he say something along the lines of "I want you because of your body".
He didn’t even try to make a physical contract, something that he always did with the other girls.
And even when he won the bet and could touch Lyra all he wanted... instead of being extremely direct, he only touched her most private parts for less than a single minute, while he could do it the whole five minutes.
He was sure that if it were another girl, he would already be touching them from the first second onwards.
[Even if you didn’t know that you liked her, you cared deeply about her, doing unconscious actions that proved it... and Lyra simply picked up on them.]
Jasmine added lightly.
[Besides, Lyra herself knows how dangerous you actually are, after all, your reputation within the academy is the worst.]
She chuckled lightly.
[Didn’t Lyra even mention it before? They call you the scariest first-year student.
]Gray’s lips curled faintly, though there was no humor in his expression.
’Yeah... that nickname’s not exactly wrong.’
He sighed and looked back at Lyra, who was still standing there, trembling but unyielding, her golden eyes burning through her tears.
"What does it matter, anyway?" he said finally in a hoarse tone. "You said you were going to join the Church... that’s why I said those three words that night."
He paused, his gaze lowering.
"I didn’t mean to complicate things. I just... slipped."
He looked up at her again, eyes dark and tired.
"There’s no going back now, Lyra."
At the same time, he took out a cigarette and lit up, taking a long drag, puffing out a cloud of smoke that curled in the air.
"Fuuu..."
"Hagh, sob... sniff..." Lyra’s chest heaved, her trembling breaths breaking through the sound of the waves.
She stared at Gray, her whole body shaking as tears streamed down her cheeks, and then... her voice ripped through the quiet night like rumbling thunder.
"I LOVE YOU, GRAY!!!"
Gray froze.
For a moment, even the wind seemed to stop. The cigarette between his fingers slowly burned away, forgotten by the shock he received from her words.
Lyra’s hands were clenched tightly at her sides.
Her face was red, wet with tears, but her eyes... those beautiful golden eyes burned even brighter than ever.
"Do you hear me?! I love you!" she screamed again, her voice cracking under the weight of emotion.
"And it hurts... gods, it hurts so much because you keep pushing me away like I mean nothing!"
She stumbled forward, fists trembling.
"You think I don’t know what you are? I know exactly what people say about you. I know what you’ve done. I know you’re dangerous, cold, unpredictable, but..."
Her voice wavered, and she bit her lip, staring down at the ground.
"...but I still... I still fell for you anyway."
Gray opened his mouth, but no words came out.
Lyra lifted her gaze again, tears rolling down her chin as she took another shaky breath.
"When I said I wanted to join the Church..." she whispered. "...it wasn’t because I wanted to leave you."
Gray’s eyes widened slightly.
"I just... wanted to see if you’d stop me." She smiled weakly, her lips trembling.
"If those looks you gave me... were actually true... sniff... i-if your unconscious actions were actually a proof that you indeed liked me..."
Her voice broke.
"I wanted you to fight for me, Gray! To tell me not to go! To tell me you cared enough to make me stay!"
She stepped closer, grabbing his coat with both hands. "But instead, you vanished. You acted like it meant nothing!"
Her head lowered, pressing against his chest as she sobbed harder. "And I waited. Every day, I waited for you to come find me. Even when people called me stupid, I still waited..."
Her grip tightened.
"Because you were the first person who made me feel like I wasn’t just some tool the Church picked up. You looked at me like I mattered."
Gray was taken aback by her words.
After all, just before... she had said that the church cared a lot about her...
And seeing his expression, Lyra smiled with a sad expression.
"Actually... the things I said before were a simple lie to make my reason to leave more believable," she looked directly into his eyes.
"I wasn’t treated well in the church... instead, they treated me a some kind of experimental subject as they had found me in the borders with Eliora. They thought that maybe I had some kind of Divine Blood," Lyra bit her lower lip.
"And I did... and because of that, I was tortured during my childhood days... they taught me how to read, but if I didn’t reach a specific goal on that same day, I would be whipped!" She gritted her teeth, remembering the pain they had caused her.
"But still... a few years ago, I actually... spoke with a God."
Instantly, Gray’s eyes widened in shock as she looked at Lyra.
’Is she really going to tell me her biggest secret?’ he wondered, looking at her trembling frame.
"He gave me powers... and with those powers, I successfully escaped, and then he led me here... a place where I could get stronger faster and more efficiently, and then..."
She licked her dry lips, looking directly into his black eyes with her trembling golden ones.
"I met you..."
Lyra pulled back slightly, her voice trembling as she looked up at him again.
"You said you shouldn’t have told me you liked me... but I needed to hear it, Gray. Because even if it was wrong, it was real."
Her tears fell freely now, her expression twisting between anger, sorrow, and something painfully tender.
"You think love is dangerous? That it’ll destroy everything you touch?" she whispered.
"Maybe it will. But so what? I’d rather get hurt with you than live pretending I never felt this."
Gray’s breath hitched.
His hand moved slightly, as if wanting to touch her, but stopped halfway.
Lyra saw it.
Her lip quivered, and she pressed her forehead against his chest again, whispering through her tears.
"So if you’re going to keep pushing me away, then say it to my face. Tell me you don’t love me back. Tell me what you said that night was a lie."
Her voice was soft now, but it cut sharper than any blade.
"If you can do that... I’ll leave. I’ll walk away right now, and you’ll never see me again."
The night went utterly still.