Chapter 1051: Chapter 1051: On Divine Position and Family Education Issues
Teaching a little child who knows nothing about daily life is a very taxing and laborious process, but sometimes, it’s also full of fun. Innocent and naive children are never constrained by "common sense"; the things they usually do can be both laughable and surprisingly amusing—well, I guess I’m just trying to comfort myself, to prove that spending several days of chaotic life with that silly bird isn’t such a terrifying thing.
When Little Crow was still just a bird, Aunt Anwina tried to make her remember the names of all the family members, but at that time her personality and intellect hadn’t caught up yet, so she remembered everything in a mess. Now, she has finally got all the names of the family members down and calls them in her own way: she calls Anwina Mom, calls me Master, calls Uncle Kenser Uncle, calls Brother Yelsen Brother, and calls everyone else Sister, no matter big or small, from Sandora to Dingdang, without exception. At first, we couldn’t understand why this little creature calls everyone this way. Later, Xiao Xue couldn’t help but reveal the answer: if she has too many names to call, this bird won’t be able to distinguish them.
In the morning, Aunt Anwina excitedly told me some good news, Little Medwen finally remembered that she needs to wear clothes before going outside. After waking up this time, she even put on a sweater by herself, though she did end up tying herself up, but still, this is an impressive progress; the chances of the silly bird running naked outside have reduced significantly. Anwina plans to teach Little Medwen to brush her teeth and wash her face next—I think Little Ghost is being a bit too eager here, as a bird that has never grown teeth, Little Medwen can now understand chewing her food before swallowing, which is already an impressive progress. Expecting her to understand why teeth need brushing now seems unreasonable; besides, even Dingdang still swallows toothpaste while brushing teeth until now, which I haven’t been able to correct for that little thing...
The happiest about the new little sister added to our family is Little Baobao, because she finally feels like she has a playmate: and they’re at the same level too. All along, Little Baobao couldn’t find a child to play with her at home. Although Pandora and Visca often get classified as children, that only counts when distributing candy and cakes to the little ones; those two Shorties are undisputedly adults, and Lilina needless to say, inherently couldn’t play along with Little Baobao—in fact, I’m even afraid to leave her alone with Little Baobao, lest that girl leads the child astray; Mercury Lamp may look more underwhelming than Little Baobao, but unfortunately, most of the time she carries herself like a mature doll girl with hundreds of years of experience; lastly, only Sister Ji Shanshan could be quite close to Little Baobao, but unfortunately, a nanny is not a playmate, you can’t expect that silly king who goes on strike now and then to have fun with Teddy Bear. In summary, Little Baobao mostly plays alone at home because all the other children are either older or smarter than her, and even if they don’t bully her, they can’t really play together. And now we’ve got Little Medwen, firstly in terms of intellect, they are quite evenly matched, and secondly, well, from an intellectual perspective, they’re quite suited as sisters.
In just a few days, Little Baobao has become inseparable from Little Medwen; these two kids who can barely speak seem to always find their own ways of fun, including playing with sand at the front door or going on "Ghost Empire" adventures in the basement. Yesterday afternoon, I even saw the former carrying out her most precious sparkling collection to share with the latter, which is simply incredible. You should know those shiny things are Baobao’s treasures, with quite a few acquired through battles—Sister Jier was tearful at that moment, I discovered that Little Baobao gave Little Medwen three ancient scepters embedded with gemstones and two golden ox statues as gifts, their origin being unmistakable.
I’m grateful Little Baobao didn’t take out a Holy Grail: she indeed has a Holy Grail in her collection, and it’s not the kind made of cheap plastic for a few bucks; it’s a truly exquisite divine artifact crafted from pure gold and fluorite, purchased by Bubbles during a stroll from a Holy Grail shop outside the Avalon Great Temple for her daughter, with manufacturing code 12590. That shop is co-owned by Lilina and Little Artemis, claiming to sell nothing but genuine articles. The opening caused a stir among heroic spirits; over a dozen spirits who suffered greatly during the Holy Grail War reportedly bought over twenty pounds of them each to smash at home. And from then on, the term Holy Grail became a painful mark in Sister Jier’s heart, more painful than knowing there’s a version sold for a couple of bucks at the market back then: after all, the two bucks version required Dingdang to take a bath to be produced, with limited output, but those Holy Grails in the store created by Goddess Priest Anwina were displayed in cabinets full of them, even with instruction manuals included, which is literal salt on the wound. If Little Baobao actually gifted Little Crow a Holy Grail, I’d worry the poor washboard would go downright mad.
In response to Little Baobao’s gift, the silly bird was delighted too and took out her most precious belonging as a return gift: half of her eggshell, yes, the eggshell left from when she was hatched, keeping half herself and giving the other half to Little Baobao. The two little girls pledged their sisterhood with the eggshell, promising to always be best sisters for life; knowing this made our whole family pretty much dumbstruck...
It actually creates quite an interesting scene with Little Baobao and Little Medwen together; their communication isn’t as effortless as you’d imagine, in reality, these two little ones are mostly language incompatible, with Baobao’s unique language and Medwen’s topsy-turvy bird language clashing together, both end up confused. Yet the magical thing is the two little ones somehow understand each other from their hearts, and they can play delightedly despite both being unaware of what they’re talking about, even while each babbling about the things they themselves comprehend. Such a miracle scene leaves one truly puzzled, with Lilina preparing to elevate this phenomenon to a research topic, titled as studies on how two little ones who don’t understand each other’s babble can converse all afternoon, with a subtitle on the possibility of cross-race affinity—I’m thinking there’s a necessity to cut this topic off in advance.
Right now, Little Baobao is snuggled together with Little Medwen looking at a textbook. The two little ones are lying on the coffee table, with their little heads together, looking utterly focused. If not for the textbook being upside-down, this scene would be quite heartwarming. That book was brought home by Little Baobao from school, with the little girl already being a proud elementary student at the Imperial Military Academy Affiliated Primary School. In the primary school section, considering the children from other low-tech worlds might not adapt to the Empire’s technological products, such as personal information terminals, in a short time, they are still using the very old but usable "textbooks." Today, Little Baobao just received the new book and couldn’t wait to bring it back to share with Little Medwen. They put the book upside-down to guess what’s drawn on it...
The scene was so heartwarming it brought tears to my eyes, a sense of fatherly happiness welled up: Damn, this is how normal kids should be! The bunch of naughty kids at home almost drive a person crazy most of the time...
"Dad, I was pretty cute when I was little too, very well-behaved," Xiao Xue popped up from nowhere, munching on snacks while cheekily blowing into my ear, "Oh right, I’m still pretty cute now. Don’t be curious, I know you’re planning to teach me a lesson, I don’t even need to see the future to know that. By the way, Dad, do you want some of this? These are beans fried with vanilla, that kid has a neat little skill, she said she sometimes fries some plant seeds as a meal, the beans in this world are very similar to a type of grass seed in her world."
Xiao Xue shoved a handful of golden fried beans into my hand, and I casually tossed one into my mouth. It was just fried soybeans, but it was quite tasty. "Girl, you know Vanilla, right? Does she exist in the future?"
I started probing into future matters again, Xiao Xue usually wouldn’t mention people or events that haven’t appeared before us to prevent influencing my judgment. For example, before Vanilla appeared, she wouldn’t mention a word about the people around Medivh in the future, but if the person had already appeared, she wouldn’t hesitate to talk about them.
"Of course, there is. Vanilla, only a few people dare to call her by her name," Xiao Xue handed each of the two little girls who were looking at picture books a handful of beans. Little Baobao started talking to the beans while Medivh once again swallowed the food whole: she still couldn’t restrain her bird-like eating habits when she saw small things like beans, "Crow God Pope, Blade, Lightning, Flames, and all deputies of Nature’s Wrath, mentors of Mages, assassins, thieves, and summoners; pretty cool, right? Dad, don’t doubt it, not one around you in the future is easily dealt with—you see, my oil consumption isn’t small..."
I was taken aback: "So impressive, huh?"
"Of course, maybe it’s because she grew up in that environment, I don’t think it’s anything impressive," Xiao Xue flipped herself over from the sofa back, plopping herself onto the sofa with no semblance of image, even throwing her legs over my stomach. It was evident she indeed had been brought up by Bingdisi when she was little. "Do you know my Mom’s titles? Prophet, Wise, Future Manager, partial to Mages, and the patron of most prophets, merchants, leaders, inventors and gamblers. Every major casino in the Macro World hangs a portrait of my Mom. Mother Qianqian is the Time Manager and also the God of Evolution and Decay, the patron god of youth and maiden, while some little sects in tantric believe the God of Evolution provides shelter to any species undergoing evolution. Some old people who like doing scientific or magical research often receive the baptism of the God of Decay in their twilight years, hoping to get a chance to complete their careers. But I don’t know if these little sects can really connect with Mother Qianqian’s divine power. Mom Sandora is the Soul Shepherd, the God ruling over spirit and mind. Nearly all Mages simultaneously believe in her, because they need controlling their spiritual power the most. Moreover, I’ve seen in a little religious pamphlet stating Mom Sandora also offers protection to warriors and scholars and is responsible for rewarding honesty, faithfulness, and five or six other virtues. Additionally, scientists wear her badge as it ensures they stay focused and avoid getting misled by academic loopholes and heresies. It’s said to be quite effective..."
I was fascinated by Xiao Xue’s description of the wondrous future, then eagerly asked, "Hey, hey, tell me about myself. What am I responsible for as a father? I should count as holding the title of Divine King, right?"
Xiao Xue smirked slyly, then put on a serious expression and said formally, "Friend of women, protector of children. Expectant mothers wear Dad’s badge, praying before childbirth ensures safety for mother and child. Additionally, if a child won’t eat, they can pray to you, or to Aunt Anwina, who is the protector of household chores... Wow! Don’t tickle my soles! Is this how you be a dad... Ahaha, it tickles! I surrender, I surrender!"
I lightly patted the foot of this naughty kid: "Can’t you talk seriously?"
Xiao Xue flipped over and stared directly into my eyes: "Think about it, do you think Father God would be a definite deity in the present world?"
I opened my mouth, suddenly recalling my previous chat with Father God when he mentioned these things. Additionally, Bingdisi also spoke about Father God’s "Divine Position" problem. According to Bingdisi, Father God isn’t a god; in the entire Star Domain, the only one without a divine position happens to be Father God. In today’s world, no religion treats Father God as a clear deity to worship. Only a handful of special mortals believe in Father God, but their way of belief is quite interesting. They have no sects, no doctrines, and they believe in Father God without trying to define him, unlike Light or Dark deities which have clear characteristics: representing either Light, Dark, or War. On the contrary, among the very few believers in Father God, what they worship is a God without any attributes; rather than a belief, it’s more like a fan club...
"Void Creatures can’t be targets of mortal belief because you aren’t gods at all. Your symbolic power affects gods, but mortals can’t benefit from it. If by some rare miracle, someone gained power merely by believing in Void Creatures, they’d become a god immediately. If you must define it, you all are like National Treasures, the type that’s impressive but nobody can use."
I felt rather depressed, thinking to myself that all this time, Father God and I have just been mascots in the entire Divine System. But then again, this seems like a good deal—at least, I don’t have to worry about trivial prayers below. As Bingdisi said, most of the prayers are like complaint calls, and being a hardworking Heavenly God is like simultaneously working at a customer service hotline and running a property center, while occasionally acting as a neighborhood security guard...
At this moment, Bubbles came down from the second floor, seemingly having just swept through all the anime news in the Macro World over the past twenty-four hours, a satisfied smile on her face. Little Baobao saw her mom and immediately cheered, rushing over. Then Bubbles began asking the little girl about school, looking quite concerned about her daughter’s academic performance.
"That’s quite rare; you occasionally seem like a mother." Once Bubbles sat down with Little Baobao across from me, I quietly teased. She immediately perked up her ears: "Of course! You, the dad, usually don’t notice, but I’m actually a good wife and mother."
I’m too lazy to retort now, just casually asking, "How is Little Baobao doing at school?"
Honestly, I also want to ask her myself, but unfortunately, I can’t understand what Little Baobao is saying...
"Of course she’s doing well," Bubbles said proudly, "I mean, look at whose child she is. Currently, she attends grades one to six in school, her grades..."
"Wait a second!" I hurriedly interrupted, "Grades one to six? Is that how school works?"
"No choice, she’s not there to learn knowledge," Bubbles shrugged, "And you can’t keep her in just one classroom, can you?" Then Bubbles filled me in on Little Baobao’s adventures at school—I finally understood the little girl’s legendary feats in the elementary division: Little Baobao can’t figure out her grade and doesn’t understand why she should sit in the classroom listening to teachers discuss stuff she can easily find in databases. So essentially, she’s there playing around, learning how to interact with people. When enrolling, Bubbles once told her to rush back to the classroom as soon as the class bell rang, and she really remembered that. Whenever the bell rang, she’d randomly run into any classroom, find an empty seat, and dutifully attend classes. After going back and forth like this about a dozen times, the teachers let her be, allowing her to roam the grades one to six area freely. Anyway, she’s well-behaved—she never disrupts class, tries her best not to snore while sleeping... she basically doesn’t affect the educational order.
According to Bubbles, this mischievous school-attending style quickly turned Little Baobao into a legend in the elementary division; not only do all the teachers know there’s a goofy little princess wandering around, but all the students know too. Now there’s a tradition at the Imperial Military Academy’s elementary division that a minute before the class bell rings, everyone guesses which classroom the little princess will run into this time, and the class that wins the guessing game feels exceptionally proud, as if it’s a sort of honor. Bubbles commented with a hint of sentiment: "Now our little girl is like a rare elite in the school’s refresh cycle; every forty minutes, there’s a group eagerly waiting for her, and as soon as the bell rings, the teachers and students get as excited as starting a monster hunt..."
"Goo yah!" Little Baobao raised her hand joyfully, indicating she already considers it a kind of achievement. Little Medwen followed suit, raising her hand happily: "Gah?"
"The good news is we seem to have achieved our goal; Little Baobao’s personality growth rate has significantly increased recently," Bubbles smiled as she stroked her daughter’s long hair. "More interactions boost personality maturity rates, and this child indeed develops entirely following the rules of carbon-based life forms. Her abilities have stabilized much more than before; I’ve tested several times, adding her to the main network, and the network’s operational efficiency noticeably improved, with almost all hosts showing signs of flexible operation. I wonder if it’s related to personality maturity. She now has a few similar playmates at school, and with an extra Crow Sister at home, our child can finally avoid becoming a recluse. As the child’s mother, I’m truly relieved..."
I looked at her calmly: "As someone second only to Aunt Anwina in recluse tendencies, do you have the right to say that?"
"I’m not wasting words on you; I’m teaching my daughter to read," Bubbles shot me a look, pulled Little Baobao’s textbook in front of her, and lovingly pointed to a line in the book to explain to Little Baobao, "Come on, darling, look here, follow Mommy and read: A lean camel is bigger than a horse; this is a proverb. It also has a sentence with a similar meaning, ’a lean attack is bigger than a defense attack’..."
Little Baobao: "Goo yah ooh yah!"
I nearly lost it, reaching out to push Bubbles aside: With Dingdang above, children definitely can’t be brought up by her! (To be continued. If you like this work, welcome to Qidian () to vote for recommendations, monthly tickets. Your support is my greatest motivation.)