Chapter 129: Healed?
"Won’t you just consider showing up at least?" Aki asked as they played golf together as usual the next day.
Haruki paused reflectively but the next thing he expected didn’t follow. He was calm, almost too calm. He raised his head and met Aki’s gaze.
He knew what Aki was talking about he pretended as he asked, "What are you talking about?"
"I am talking about the reunion. Everyone wants you to attend. I think they are all excited that they could finally get to you through me."
"It seems a lot of them want to hide under the shadow of knowing someone as powerful as you are," Hiroshi murmured. He hated that they were shameless enough to disturb his brother and lover after what they experienced in high school.
"It doesn’t matter what they want," Haruki smiled looking at the sulking Hiroshi beside him. It pleased him that the man was angry at them on his behalf.
For the first time in his life, he felt no anger towards those who had stood by and watched him get beaten up even whispering words of disdain. Like Hiroshi said, they wanted to hide under his influence and they only wanted that because he was powerful and they were not.
The more he thought of it, the more his smile widened.
"You are smiling, does that mean you will attend?" Aki asked.
It was only when Aki stated it that Haruki noticed he was smiling. He paused and the smile disappeared just in time for Hiroshi to turn to look at him.
Haruki walked to the cart and got himself a bottle of water from the cooler. Was he smiling? He knew all the emotions he had suppressed and exposed whenever his ex-classmates were mentioned, but something had changed.
It was not a minor change he could ignore. It was as though the anger and hatred he had felt for a decade got uprooted. They were nowhere to be found even the hole was all covered up. He bit his lips remembering the conversation he had with Hiroshi last night.
He shook his head as soon as the thought came to his mind. Could it be him? It can’t be, right?
He shook his head and sat down on the foldable chair. He pushed back his hair from his forehead and looked at the doctor swinging his golf club sending the ball flying.
How could there be such a difference between how he felt before last night and how he felt and reacted to Aki’s words today? It almost made no sense but he still could not come to the conclusion that the doctor was not behind it.
He pulled out his phone and searched for talking about a painful past with an acquaintance and all the search results pointed to the incident of last night. Talking to the doctor had healed him of the pain he had hidden deep down about the bullying he experienced.
If that was right, then perhaps he should tell the doctor everything that had hurt him so he could move from them and offload all his emotional baggage.
"Are you tired of playing?" Aki looked back after applauding his brother.
"No, I am not." Haruki rose up and returned his phone to his pocket and approached them. He got handed his golf and approached the two brothers. The closer he got, the more he wanted to hug the doctor.
Haruki glanced at the doctor before taking a stance to hit the golf ball. He swung his golf club and the two brothers applauded. A small smile lifted the corners of his lips.
Hiroshi who had been discreetly watching Haruki’s every mood could easily see that Haruki was not masking his emotions with the smile but the smile seemed to be the most genuine smile he had seen on Haruki’s face for a while.
Haruki’s black pupils appeared brightened and peaceful, something he had not seen in a while. It caused his heart to jump a bit. He moved close to Haruki and touched his palm It was Aki’s turn to play.
Haruki met his gaze before looking down to where their hands touched but he didn’t stop the doctor. He moved closer and clasped the doctor’s hand in his, fingers locking together.
"Your turn," Aki said turning to face them. He glanced at their interlocked fingers.
His lips pressed together to form a thin line, and he looked at his wrist watch before passing his club to the staff member close to him.
"You won’t be coming, right?" Aki asked remembering he had to invite Haruki to the reunion party.
"I won’t be coming. I am very busy today," Haruki replied. "I don’t think I deserve the invitation anyway. After all, I didn’t graduate from the school."
Aki wanted to refute. He wanted to tell him that it was not necessary for his attendance but it was obvious Haruki did not want to attend, so he decided to stop being pushy.
"I should get going," Aki said perfunctorily glancing at his wrist watch.
"So soon," Haruki naturally pulled his hand away from Hiroshi’s and approached Aki. "I thought you wanted to play chess before you leave."
"Next weekend," Aki replied. He glanced at his brother who was standing still behind Haruki. "Let’s go party next weekend."
"Sure," Haruki accepted the invitation without hesitation. Seeing that Aki was serious about wanting to leave, he didn’t press him to stay anymore. He saw him off to the door of the house where his car was parked. One of his men handed Aki’s car key over to him and opened the door for him.
After driving out of the gate, Aki parked and pressed his palm to his face. It was obvious he lost without the chance to fight. He thought he had given up on Haruki the last time he returned home but he was wrong, however, he was certain this time, that he had to give up.
Those two would endlessly flaunt their love before him without a single care about his presence. They acted so naturally touching, smiling at each other, they just kept making him feel like a third wheel.
It was only appropriate for him to come to acceptance of the result of his decade-old crush. A final goodbye to his first love.
He pressed his lips together as his eyes stung. He could use Haruki’s presence at the party after all, no one understood his experience in high school more than Haruki and Haruki was in the perfect position to prove that none of the things that happened in the past affected them.
Before, he could guess why Haruki didn’t want to go but now the reasons had changed. Haruki was at peace with his past even more at peace than he had tried to be. He felt like he could not go anymore considering the mess he was in when he left Europe.
His business and career were successful with pictures and his crafts in a dozen magazines but he wondered if he could be proud enough to stand before them.
With a sigh, he reminded him that just as Haruki’s words and expressions earlier had shown, they didn’t matter to him, he had no reason to eat with a bunch of nobodies even if he had forgiven them for ignoring his pain.
If Haruki who had it worse than him had moved on, he had no reason to remain stuck in the past. With these words, his breathing calmed and so did his racing heart. He pressed the power button of his car and the engine hummed to life.
With a small peaceful smile lifting the corner of his lips, he pressed the accelerator and drove down the road away from the gates of Haruki’s mansion.
***
Caging Haruki in his arms, for the first time, Hiroshi was confident in his thoughts. He believed Haruki had fallen for him. He believed Haruki’s heart raced for him. He believed he was the reason behind Haruki’s smile.
It made him a bit greedy for more even while buried in the warm tight cavity. He kissed Haruki’s cheeks and nibbled on his soft earlobe. Haruki’s moan filled his ears begging him for more.
He paused and switched position. His ironclad hold held Haruki in place on him. Haruki glared at him when he realised he could not move regardless of how hard he tried. The man was simply buried deep in him, scorching but without the friction he so badly wanted.
"Wh . . .!" A loud moan escaped his lips when the man pressed his waist downward forcing him to take in everything.
"How much do you love me?"
Haruki’s eyes widened slightly. He narrowed his gaze after a few seconds as though he finally understood what the doctor wanted.
"I will give you what you want only when you give me the answer I want," Hiroshi told him when he noticed Haruki seemed to have no intention of responding.
Haruki glared at him looking wronged as he tried to move despite the hands caging his waist.
"There’s nothing dislikable about me. I am a very good boy, right? There’s no way you don’t love me, right?" Hiroshi tried to sound flirtatious despite the desperation he felt. He wanted Haruki to acknowledge it even if he was very certain of it.
Hiroshi continued with slow provocative movements. Haruki hit his chest with a clenched fist as he failed to pull Hiroshi’s hand off his waist once again.
His waist trembled yet he got no satisfaction. When he looked into Hiroshi’s beautiful heated brown eyes, he felt they were urging him to say the words he was holding back.
"Even if you don’t love me, at least you love this, don’t you?"
Given a way out, Haruki nodded hastily. "Ah . . . hmm . . . of course. I love this."
"Tell me how much."
Seeing the encouragement in those eyes, Haruki moaned as he leaned closer to kiss those inviting lips. "So much. Too much . . . I want more."