Chapter 63: Difficult To Love
Elian;
"I can not authorise that, Mrs. Crood. That would be murder. His brain is fine. Body in perfect condition. I can not and will not pull the plug on him. He’s a healthy young man who still stands a chance at survival. I can not take that from him." The doctor snaps back, and there’s silence.
"Do you have any idea what this is taking from me? I go to work every day and have to face tons of pathetic sympathy wishes about how my son will get well soon. I constantly have to alter my routine to come here to check up on him because if I don’t, the world will tag me as a bad mother. His father and I keep paying the bills for him, and we don’t even know how much longer we’ll have to keep at this. Mind you, this is a boy we already cut ties with!" She snaps back, and her words crush my heart to fine mush.
Tears fall from my eyes as the ugly reality that I have denied all my life dawns on me.
My parents... do not love me...
I used to hope I was wrong.
I used to hope that somehow, in their own twisted way, they cared about me. That I just couldn’t see it...
But...
"Ma’am. Elián is... your only child..." The Doctor whispers, and I can all but roll my eyes.
"I know that. He’s my child. I’m asking you to pull the plug on my child. Not on someone else’s, so why are you making things so difficult? It’s been two weeks..." Mom begins, but the man cuts her off.
"Two weeks is too soon! Don’t you want him to get better? To wake up?? You are okay with never seeing your child again!?" He demands, and I look back at Mom.
At her pursed lips and stern eyes.
Well? Go on... give him an answer, Mom. Are you ready to never see me ag...
"Yes. His father and I are." The words are a spear that presses through my heart.
I blink at my mother as hurt and a bundle of other emotions I can not explain flood my chest.
"It would be better for everyone if he just... died." She adds, and the pain is so cruel I can physically feel it tearing at my heart.
The beeping of the machine beside me becomes more rapid and much louder, which draws the attention of the doctor and my ’mother’
The man rushes over to me, but Mom remains outside.
Leaning against the door frame and staring at me from there, like if she comes close to me, she’ll catch some horrible virus.
"Elián. You’re awake! H-hang in there, buddy. Don’t space out on me again." The man says in a mix of worry and excitement as he brushes my hair and as he rushes out of the room, my eyes return to my mother, who still hasn’t set foot into the room.
She stares at me in silence before slowly turning her face away from me, and reality cements itself in my heart.
A bitter reality.
I have nothing here... Nothing to fight for. Nothing to come back to...
I also do not mind if I never see her or my father ever again.
I... never want to see them again.
I’m done. I’m done waiting to be loved by them.
I am done fighting. Hoping. Crying... begging. I’m done.
I want nothing to do with these selfish people ever again.
Nothing.
The doctor rushes back in and sets a tray beside me, but as he speaks to me, sounds begin to warp.
"No. No. No, Elain. Hold on. Stay with us. Listen to my voice. Hang on!!" The doctor’s voice desperately begs, but as my eyes shut, I’m welcomed by silence, and all I know in my heart is that the next time I open my eyes, I don’t want to be in that hospital.
I would rather be with Alana and the Ashfang brothers.
******
Rhydian;
I stare at Elian, who’s still unconscious with his head in my lap as the carriage moves.
In two days, he hasn’t opened his eyes once, but at least he doesn’t look pale anymore and has even started stirring in his sleep.
Alana says that he should wake up soon.
He stirs again, and I quickly wrap an arm around him to keep him from falling off the seat.
He groans, and as he moves again, my heart skips a beat when I see tears escaping his eyes.
He’s crying? Why is he crying??
Is he hurting??
Is something wrong?
"Stop!" I yell, and the carriage immediately pulls to a stop.
"Alpha Rhydian, are you okay?" One of my men calls from outside, and I stare at Elain’s face as I wipe the tears from his eyes.
"Get Alana!" I order, and the sharp response follows.
"Yes, Alpha."
As I wait for Alana, I inspect Elian. Checking the sting sites and his body to be sure he hasn’t sustained any injury in the course of his stiring, but I find nothing.
The door by his legs suddenly pulls open, and Alana’s worried face comes into view.
"What happened, Alpha? Is he fine?" She questions as she rushes into the carriage, and despite how cramped it is, she sits on the floor beside him.
"I don’t know. He’s crying. Why is he crying?" I reply, and Alana takes the back of her hand to his forehead, and then his neck.
She checks the sting site and then looks up at me with worried eyes.
"I... I can’t see any problem. I don’t... I don’t know what’s wrong with him, Alpha." She replies, and my heart falls.
"What do you mean you can’t..." I begin, but stop when I feel Elian grab my coat tightly, even though he’s still unconscious.
More tears escape his eyes, and I look up at Alana with worry.
"Why do you hate me so much?" His hoarse voice croaks, and my heart skips a beat.
My head snaps up at Alana, and she blinks at me.
I slowly look back down at Elian, who’s sobbing now, and my heart squeezes. Is he... Is he talking about me?
Have my actions hurt him so much? He’s unconscious and even crying... because of me??
"You’re all I know... yet you’ve always hated me. Am I that difficult to love?" He whimpers, and I feel my heart erupt with guilt.
"Privacy," I order, and Alana bows before excusing herself and shutting the door behind her.
I look back down at Elian and swallow.
Is he crying because of me? Have I failed him that badly?
Or is he crying about someone else... someone who might have hurt him long before I ever met him?
I don’t think he’s crying for me. Still, he’s hurting... And... it hurts me to see.
I scoop him onto my lap, and as his head rests against my chest, I wrap my arms around him.
"You’re not difficult to love, Elian," I whisper against his hair, and as if he heard my words, I feel him relax in my arms as he lets out a breath.
It was horrible of me to hurt him... Never again.
I’m going to look after him from now on... He needs someone to. After all, he’s my Omega. It’s my duty to look after him. And if anyone makes him cry ever again...